What’s really draining you in dentistry (hint: it’s not complex cases)
You cannot force others to care about the work the way you do. Focus on how you communicate, the systems you build, and how you respond to bumps in the road.
Let’s talk about something that we accept as a fact of dental life.
Clinical work is demanding, but it’s not the main thing that drains your social battery. The real cause of your exhaustion in dentistry is…… people. Managing people.
People management is draining for most dentists. But for women, it's particularly exhausting because we're doing more of it, and we receive more social penalty for doing it "wrong."
You know the feeling…
You walk into the clinic to find the tray setup is wrong, again. You pause mid-procedure to explain what you need while the patient’s anxiety festers. The crown prep runs over because the impression material wasn't ready. At 2:50pm, you find out that your 3pm patient wasn't reminded to take their antibiotic prophylaxis. The surgical extraction drags on because your DA can’t find the new surgical burs. An ‘emergency’ s/c gets squeezed in between two complex procedures because there was a 15min gap.
Mini-hiccups, one after another. They fragment your focus, disrupt your flow, deplete your energy. And make the day feel ten times longer than it should.
If this sounds familiar, know that your exhaustion isn't a personal failing.
And there are things you can do about it.
Maybe you’ve already talked to your support team, but things haven’t changed.
You’re still drained at the end of every day.
Why?
You're Managing Emotions That Men Never Have to Manage
Research consistently shows that women in leadership positions- yes as a clinician responsible for patient care, you are a leader- carry a disproportionate burden of emotional labour. You're not just coordinating tasks, you're reading the room, managing tensions. Ensuring everyone feels okay while you do your job.
Your male colleagues? They get to just do the work.
Staff and patients afford them automatic authority and trust. When a male dentist asks for a specific setup, it appears. When he gives feedback on an error, it's received as professional direction. When he runs behind, the team adjusts without attitude.
For you? The same requests might be met with a defensive responses, passive-aggressive compliance, or even eye-rolls. You learn to soften your tone, add ‘please’, ‘thank you’, and ‘sorry’ in places your male colleagues don't. And still you worry about being "difficult" or "demanding."
Next time, notice how often you say ‘sorry’ to your team members. You’ll be surprised.
This isn't oversensitivity. It's documented. And it's exhausting.
Practical Strategies for Dental Team Communication
The Harvard Business Review's Work Smart Series and Amy Gallo's research on workplace relationships offer evidence-based strategies that translate to dental practice settings.
1. Get curious first, there’s always something you don’t see. Curiosity disarms defensiveness, and starts to move from “you” to “we”.
"I understand we're busy, but infection control can never be the thing that gets rushed. If you're feeling pressured to cut corners, I need to know so we can address the schedule or workload."
2. Be specific about the impact and what you need. Specificity is harder to misinterpret, and easier to execute.
"When the etch isn't on the tray, I have to stop mid-procedure to ask for it, which breaks my focus and extends the appointment time. I need the setup to include [specific items] in [specific order] every time."
3. Offer solution or find one together
"What would help you remember each time?” “Would it help to have a laminated card with the setup for each procedure type? Let's create one together so it reflects exactly what I need."
4. Create accountability where appropriate.
"Let's do a quick check-in at the start of each day to ensure every patient has had their consent signed from last appointment and OPG files uploaded. I will confirm I've reviewed the patient file and notes. That way we're both set up to succeed."
5. Acknowledge improvements when things work. Positive feedback makes it stick.
“I noticed you had everything ready to go and we didn’t have to leave the room during this complex procedure at all. Your preparation helped make the appointment smooth for everyone.”
If you're nodding along because you know exactly how it feels to be depleted by people management while you just want to focus on clinical work, I want you to know there's a space for this.
The Cusp Collective exists for conversations and skills development like this. For women who are tired of surface-level CPD that doesn't acknowledge what we're actually dealing with. For dentists who want practical strategies that account for the gendered realities of leadership.
At our annual Conference + Connect we meet in person to have the conversations we're not having anywhere else, including people management skills that no one taught us in dental school.
Register to attend, because I believe you can love your Mondays.