Forget work-life balance, here's what you actually need..
As someone who has swung wildly between "all play, no work" and "all work, no play," I can promise you there is no right way.
Let's open this can of worms.
I know what people mean when they say they want better work-life balance. They're not talking about 50:50. Not usually.
Personally, I like to dial up a bit more play and a bit less work.
"Work-life integration" became the trendy reframe- a harmonious co-existence of work and life blended into one. But that risks blurring lines and boundaries when setting firm boundaries is already a common challenge for women, who are more likely to be people-pleasers than men. And definitely for dentists, who do after-hours patient notes, treatment planning, and rumination late into the evening, because we care so much, we're perfectionists, and when a complication occurs, we feel like imposters.
But those topics are for another post.
What I want to propose is something different.
Forget balance. Forget integration.
What you actually need is the capacity to keep enjoying your life through whatever it brings.
Life is keeps moving. The dials will keep shifting. Seasons will change. Crises will land. Joys will land too.
The question isn't how to hold things in a delicate equilibrium, it's whether you can stay in enjoyment through it all.
As someone who has swung wildly between "all play, no work" and "all work, no play," I can promise you, there is no right way.
There is only your way.
What works for you is unique to you and the people in your life. And it will change over time.
The key is being honest about where you want the dials set, and being okay with the trade-offs.
Remembering to check in regularly. Because what made you happy six months ago might not be what serves you now.
So forget about pursuing the myth of work-life balance. You will get closer to where you want to be by being the kind of woman who can roll with what comes, push back on what is not ok, walk away from what doesn't serve you, and still find joy through it all.
That's not a skill you learn. It's six muscles you can build.
The 6 muscles of a career (& life) you E.N.J.O.Y.S.
This is your self-audit. Where are you strongest? Which muscles need more work?
E — Esteem Can you own your wins without immediately discounting them? Do you have the ability to internalise success and quiet the perfectionism and imposter syndrome?
N — Nourishment Are your relationships actually feeding you? What is the quality of your personal and professional connections? Do you have a workplace culture that sustains instead of drains you?
J — Joy Do you have identity, play, and lightness outside of your roles? Do you achieve flow state often? Do you have hobbies? Parts of you that exist beyond "dentist," "wife," "mother." Do you give yourself permission to just be.
O — Ownership Can you set boundaries and use your voice without guilt? Can you yes and no with equal clarity? Do you have enough self-efficacy and agency to take action?
Y — Your Why Do you know what you're really doing this for? Your connection to values, purpose, and what makes the work feel like yours.
S — Self-Mastery Can you regulate when things get hard, instead of being thrown by them? Mindset, resilience, and the inner work of meeting challenges without being broken by them..
Pick one as your starting point.
Remember, life is not meant to be a balancing act, it’s a journey to be enjoyed.
With love, Tiffany x
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