Work-life balance is achievable but not in the way you think
As someone who has swung wildly between "all play, no work" and "all work, no play," I can promise you there is no right way.
Let's open this can of worms!
I know what people mean when they say they want better work-life balance. They're not talking about 50:50. Not usually.
Which is great because that’s not realistic given the way life works. So we talk about seasons of life, chapters of life, which imply sometimes things are exceptionally hard and all you can do is ‘suck it up’ and push through. We talk about “work-life harmony”, "work-life integration" - a trendy reframe- a harmonious co-existence of work and life blended into one. But that has a great risk of blurring lines and boundaries when setting firm boundaries is already a common challenge for women (who are more likely to be people-pleasers than men).
And definitely for dentists, who often do after-hours admin and rumination late into the evening, because we care, we're perfectionists, and when a complication occurs, we feel like imposters.
But those topics are for another post. What I want to propose is something different.
Forget balance. Forget seasons. Forget integration.
What you need is the capacity to make peace with where you’re at and make the most of opportunities.
Life continues to evolve. Priorities keep shifting. Seasons keep changing. Crises will occur, even as joy continues to be found. So the question isn't how to hold things in a delicate equilibrium, it's whether you can enjoy the journey.
As someone who has swung wildly between "all play, no work" and "all work, no play," I can promise you, there is no right way.
There is only your way.
What works for you is unique to you and the people in your life. And it will change over time.
The key is being honest about which areas of your life get more of your time & energy, and being okay with the trade-offs.
Always remembering that what made you happy six months ago might not be what serves you now.
So forget about pursuing the myth of work-life balance. You will get closer to where you want to be by being the kind of woman who can roll with what comes, push back on what is not ok, walk away from what doesn't serve you, and still find joy through it all.
The good news is, these are skills you can learn and master.
The 6 areas to master for a career (& life) you enjoy:
This is your self-audit. Where are you strongest? Which muscles need more work?
E — Ethos Your connection to values, purpose, and what re-centres you in times of overwhelm.
Do you know what you're really doing this for?What matters the most to you?
N — No ApologiesSetting boundaries and assertively communicating your needs provides you with the autonomy and flexibility that improves satisfaction with ‘work-life balance’.
Can you say yes and no with equal clarity? Do you feel empowered to take action?
J — Jammin’ with the chaos Mindset, resilience, and the inner work of meeting challenges without being broken by them will minimise risk of burnout and improve quality of your career life.
Can you self-regulate when things get hard, instead of being thrown by them? Can you let go of perfectionism and quiet the self-criticism?
O — Own it The ability to access feelings of accomplishment improves overall sense of wellbeing and increases clinical confidence. Credit where credit’s due.
Can you own your wins without discounting them?Do you have the ability to internalise success and quiet the self-doubt and imposter syndrome?
Y — Your People Good workplace relationships are a key factor to job satisfaction, which directly impacts how happy we are with our ‘work-life balance’.
What is the quality of your personal and professional connections? Do you have a workplace culture that sustains instead of drains you? Do you have a good social support network?
S — Space for Self Parts of you that exist beyond "dentist," "wife," "mother”, are crucial to your overall wellbeing, which impacts how you show up to work and how you are able to manage workplace challenges.
Do you have identity, play, and lightness outside of your roles? Do you achieve flow state often? Do you have hobbies? Do you give yourself permission to just be?
Pick one as your starting point to strengthen.
Remember, life is not meant to be a balancing act, it’s a wondrous journey to be embraced.
With love, Tiffany x
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